Category: Life

LK LohanLeave a comment

Survivorship Bias

Another author’s talk. Another conference panel. Another interview. Again and again, we’re treated to stories of success. We hear about the query letter that landed an author an agent. About the chance encounter that led to a guest post that went viral and launched a career. About the debut novel that sold at auction. For a high six-figure advance, of course. And, of course, every success story needs its share of adversity overcome. The bigger the success, the bigger usually the adversity. The message is clear: Everybody can succeed if only they apply themselves. If you’re not succeeding, you’re not Read More …

LK LohanLeave a comment

Don’t Take on the Stress of Others

“Don’t take on the stress of others” is advice (from Mark Sisson) that recently popped up in my inbox. I don’t take it to mean that we’re supposed to be as cold as a dead fish in the face of other people’s distress. If we can in any way help, we should do so, if our help is welcome. Sometimes it isn’t — and that’s all right. All we can do is to be gracious about offering our help as well as accepting a rejection. Empathy and Outrage Empathy is a precursor to any genuine wish to help that’s driven Read More …

LK Lohan

Relentless

Relentless. For some reason, the word’s always resonated with me. It implies perseverance. Discipline. Grit. The qualities of the warrior monks that figure prominently in my stories. Qualities I admire in others and try to cultivate in myself – up to a degree. There’s a fine line between dedication and obsession, and if I’ve learned anything about myself over the years it’s that I don’t have much of an obsessive personality. Some people might disagree, but they see the outside. The truth on the inside is that I’m dedicated to a few pursuits, but I don’t have it in me Read More …

LK Lohan

Using Media Deliberately Instead of Reactively

I’m too old to be reactive in my use of media. As my birthdays stack up, the rational understanding that this lifetime is limited is being replaced by visceral certainty. With that realization comes a certain existential dread, but also an urgency to work on what matters, and an increasing unwillingness to live my life reactively. A live of reactivity precludes a life of reflection and creativity. The always-on lifestyle takes reactivity to the extreme. When each notification requires a quick check-in, when you’re compelled to refresh your various social media feeds every time you’re bored or distracted or facing Read More …

LK Lohan

Self-help Doesn’t Work

Self-help doesn’t work – until you’re ready to hear the message. To use another cliché: The teacher will come when the student is ready. The self-help field is often maligned as pop psychology, but it does the job for those of us who like the summarized, pre-digested version as a starting-point for further research. And, often enough, the short version is sufficient for our needs. The field of self-help is as vast as people’s “issues”. If a particular issue isn’t an issue for you, well, you get to skip that section of the bookshelf. Just make sure that you don’t Read More …