Whenever I talk to other writers, my first impulse is to be extremely impressed. They lay out their ideas, they talk about the stories they’re outlining, and my immediate assumption is that they’ve got a winner, that they’ll be published long before I ever will, and that they’re amazing. Sure, they probably are amazing. But in many cases they haven’t even written word one of that novel. All they’ve done is to set down a bunch of ideas on (real or virtual) paper, and to wax eloquent about it. And I automatically assume that they’re about to pen the next Masterpiece of World Literature.
A benevolent interpretation would be that I believe in other people and always think the best of them. But, remember, I write grimdark.
So if it’s not that, what is it? Not impostor syndrome. I’m firmly convinced that I belong among writers, that my books are worth reading, and that they compare favorably with some of the literature that has indeed been published. Hubris? Probably. Still, I don’t feel that my writing’s inadequate or inferior – or that I’m inadequate or inferior. No; the issue’s a different one, but one just as insidious. It’s the thought that there’s something fundamentally different about me; something that makes it hard for “normal” people to “get” me. Special snowflake syndrome, maybe? Hubris? Probably.
While I’ve always taken pride in the fact that I’m outside the mainstream in many ways, in my darker moments I’ve often wished to be just a little more like everyone else. Which, of course, is nonsense. Everybody else isn’t like everybody else either. I’m pretty sure that most people think that they fall outside the mainstream. After all, who wants to be average?
And, who knows? Maybe the people who’ve so impressed me with their talk of ideas and outlines look at me and think it’s me who’s got it all figured out, just because I’ve already written the books. People are strange that way.
So I suppose the solution is simple but not easy: Don’t worry about what others do or think. Instead, put your head down, forge on, and write the next damn book. And trust that there are other special snowflakes out there who will indeed “get” what you have to say.